211th Post

The silence of the night.

My beloved refuge.

Shall soon give way.
To the hustle and bustle.
Of the day.

As i sit in my chair.

With no more tears left to cry.
No more voice to scream.
And not much blood left to bleed.

Too many unhealed wounds remain.

Sigh.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think i am going crazy soon.

Night in.
Night out.

I have tried to cry.
But my tears have all dried up.

In its place.
Flows the tears of blood.

Night in.
Night out.

I have been slashing myself.
In atonement.

Night in.
Night out.

I drink myself silly.
In a futile attempt to seek a dreamless sleep.

Night in.
Night out.

Day in.
Day out.

I lie to others.
Assuring them that i am fine.

I smile with them.
Laugh with them.

But the genuine truth?

On the inside.
I'm being ripped apart.

Torn apart by so many demons feasting on me.
Made worse by the human race.

Eventually.
Nothing will be left of me.

But just an empty frame.
Mindless.
Heartless.

All ye here.
Shalt bear witness.
To my final act of self destruction.

I just wish i can curl up.
And truly go to rest.
With my beloved mirror.
By my side.

My one and only source of comfort.

But i cannot constantly rely on my mirror to draw strength from.
So i turn to my only shield.

The shield of silence.