151st Post

Today must be the worst day.

I feel like crying.
And screaming.
And curling up to a corner.

I feel so fucked up.
The hate and anger inside me grows.

How long can i cage it.
I don't know.

I wish i can just disappear.
To some lonely island.

To isolate myself.
To remain silent.

Free from humanity.
Free from society's pressure to perform.
To lead my own carefree life.

As i look up to the sky.
I wonder.

Why am i still living?
What am i living for?
What am i searching for?

Sigh.

I'm falling.
Deeper and deeper.
Will i ever gain the strength to stop the fall and climb out?

Maybe.
Maybe not.

To that one special person.
The next few lines are specially for you.

"I may not be able to express myself in speech most of the time. Hence my silence. I'm sorry for all the unhappiness that i have caused you. But my decision is made. I'm saying goodbye to you. Whether you want to forgive me. Is up to you now."


My life.

Shrouded in silence.
With no hope of light.

Shrouded in self inflicted pain.
With no hope of recovery.

My sanity.

Almost nothing is left of it.
All that remains are shreds of it.

It is the beginning of the end.

I bid you all.
My final farewell.

You all have been good readers and listeners.
I deeply appreciate you all for that.

But the time has come.
To begin the final solution to end all my problems.