150th Post

2 more days.

Till school re-opens.

I am not looking forward to it.
Holidays are still not enough.

Guess it's time for me to become the illusionist.
Why?

So that i can maintain my silence.
Without the prying eyes and minds.
And without the questions.

I seriously don't need to hear anymore from anyone.
Just let me be.

Drink my life away.
Like the drunk fool that i am now.

Living just day by day.
In silence.

Misery.
Agony.
Hate.
Weariness.

Are all i sense now.

What's there left to believe in?

Is there a god?
Is there a devil?
Is there anything?

With a shrug of my shoulder.
I dismiss the questions.
With 3 words.

"I don't know".

Guess now.
I only have silence and misery for company.

Nothing else is left.
But bitter hate & regrets over mistakes.
Which ironically.
I know will never change any thing.

I'm giving up on love.
I'm giving up on trying to open myself up.

But rather.
To go back to being the silent person.

Merely watching.
But refusing to speak.

Smiling on the outside.
But silently breaking apart on the inside.

Forget it.
It's all over.

It's the end.