66th Post

Monday night.
As usual i am alone.
Inside the confines of the four walls.

Where a sane mind used to be.
Is now gone.
Will it ever return?

Nobody knows.

A single drop of tear falls.
But there is no one to see that.

Only the night wind.
Bears the silent witness.

Numerous invisible scars covers me.
From head to toe.

Scars which will reawaken memories.
That were supposed to be lost with time.

As i lay with my head resting on the table.
Many questions pass and swirl through my head.
Like a whirlwind.

But alas.
No answers.

And thus.
I grow increasingly frustrated.
At my failure to seek the answers i desire.

There are indeed times.
In which i want to give up.
Cease to exist.

What's keeping me alive?
I have no idea.

I just want to be left alone.
But yet.
I don't want to be alone.

Sigh.

It's painful sometimes.
When you cannot decide.

Either to die.
Or to carry on living.

i don't know what to do anymore.

I wish i can be a child again.
Free of the problems plaguing me.
Free of the despair.
Free of everything.

I wish i can end it all now.