245th Post

Dawn breaks.

But it doesn't feel like a new day.

I still feel miserable.
I still feel the hate.

Blood wells up in my eyes.
For no more pure tears remain.
For me to shed.

As i continue to cut deep lines.
All over.

There is a child like curiosity in me.
As to why i can bleed so much.
But there is no pain.

For many nights.
I drink myself into a stupor.

Oh how much i detest life.
I wish i can enter a dreamless sleep.

I'm sick of this nightmare.

But i guess.
This nightmare.
Is destined to play itself out.

Over and over.
Until i am driven mad.

As i lie slumped on the ground.
Bleeding.
Dying.

I wonder.
Is this how death feels?

Would i be happier that way?

Or is misery and isolation.
Both destined to haunt me forever.

I no longer know.
My spirit is crumbling.

Perhaps it would be best.
If i remain in blind silence.
Forever.

Never to speak ever again.
Never to see ever again.