127th Post

Once again.

I am lost.

Between the world of the living.
And that of the dead.

With only one question in mind.

Will i be happy in death?
Or will i be filled with regrets, hate and anger.

Over unfulfilled dreams.
Over things i wished i could have done.
When i was still a mortal.

At times i wish.
I can turn back the clock.
And undo the past mistakes.

It painful.
To harbor silent regrets.
To remain in such misery.

Especially when it hits you.
That what was once done.
Was damn stupid and dumb.

But yet.
There is nothing i can do.
To make up for it.
To erase that mistake.

It's driving me mad.
I can barely stand it at times.

But yet.

Out of that mistake.
A lesson arises.

So as not to repeat it.
But are some able to learn from past mistakes?
I know not.

Is there any other way out.
Of this eternal torment and torture?

I grow weary of it.
Day by day.
Night by night.

With every passing of the hour.
There are times.
I wish i wasn't a blood drinker.

I wish i were human again.
But would there be any difference?

Again.
I don't know.

Torrents of questions.
But only a drop of answers.

I half wish i can depart from this life.
To be at peace with my raging spirit.
Once and for all.

As for what remains of my sanity.
It's the beginning of the end.

Heading along.
In an ever rapid.
Downward spiral.