104th Post

Again the feeling returns.
Slapping me in the face.
Without warning.

I am beginning to once again.
Despise life itself.
Why?

Because the more i think about it.
The more i come to realize.
It's all nothing but one big lie.

A big illusion.
With a big sugar icing.
Lies upon lies.

Who knows?
Maybe even the truth.
Are lies themselves.

Is there anything left.
For my shattered beliefs.
To hang on to.

Will i even start to trust others again?
I don't know anymore.
I don't care anymore.

I'm so tired.
Just plain tired.
Can i for once.

Rest in peace?
Disturb me no more.
Sigh.

If i can cry.
I will.
It's so hurting.

To carry all that pain.
And not being able to cry it all out.
I hate it.

Is there anyone out there.
To hear my cries for help.
My pitiful pleas.

Sigh.
Too many sad memories.
I wish i can erase them all.