292nd Post

It hurts.

It's worse than the cuts.
It's worse than any of the forbidden memories.

It's the inability to cry it all out.
The true pain.
The real frustration.

Constantly kept hidden.

The constant and biggest question.
Where to release it all?

I have no idea.
Should i keep it in the care of silence?

But for how long can i do that?
Until i break down completely?

3 more days until the New Year.
But is there really anything to celebrate about?

After all.
It's just going to be another ordinary year.

Good and bad.
Lumped together.

I don't know what to do or think about anymore.
Except to try to blank everything out.

And to take what's left of my sanity.
Into 2009.

Life's crap.