274th Post

Dawn beckons.

My body feels tired.
But my mind wants to carry on.

Who should i listen to?

Mind over body?
Body over mind?

Or.
Should i listen to what the soul has to say?

Happiness.
Is said to be a blessing.

But what sort of happiness?

Sometimes behind the words of happiness.
I still see much anguish.
Trapped within a spirit.

Unable to be free.

Ah.
Such irony.
The way we hide our true feelings behind a thin veil of happiness.

But nonetheless.
It's still happiness.

No matter how thin the veil is.

But that aside.
For myself.

The candle of happiness.
It's flame long extinguished.
Beyond time immemorial.

Where has the missing light gone to?
All i see is despair.
Anguish.

And a never ending passage of inky darkness.

Is this the hell.
In which i am forced to bear muted witness to.

The silver no longer works.
The alcohol no longer works.
The bleeding no longer works.

Nothing i do.
Seems to rekindle my candle of happiness.

The feelings are no longer there.

In its place.
Now is an icy hollow.

And inside it.
An impenetrable silence.

I guess.
This is what i am.

Now.
And forever.

A wandering soul.
That is destined to be lost in its icy hollow.

Forever.