194th Post

What remains of the night.

Shall soon turn into day.

What remains of my sanity?
I don't know.

I wonder what will happen.
Should the final thread snaps.

Will i be driven to eternal silence?

Or.

Will i choose to just stab myself in the heart?

As tears of frustration well up in my eyes.

I can only sit in my chair.

And wish.
That i can truly say i am blind.
Deaf and dumb to everything.

Wish i can for once.
Truly say that i am happy.

And that for once.

My laughter and smiles.
Are for real.

But guess i am not wishing hard enough.

All i can wish for.
Is my eventual departure from this rotting shell.

And this hellish world.
A world in which i hate and despise so much.

Is there no end to the condemnation of humanity's action?

I once told someone.

"Humanity's eventual extinction.
Shall not be caused by the angels.
Battling the demons.
But by their own hands and incompetent decisions."

Sigh.

I wish someone would be merciful enough.
And put me out of my misery.

I am so tired.
So tired of every damn thing.

I wish.
I can curl up to sleep.
And sleep forever.

Never to be disturbed by the problems of life itself.
Never to be disturbed by others.