114th Post

The month of February.

Chinese New Year.
Valentine's Day.

A day to collect money.
As well as a day to celebrate the romance.

But yet.
I feel empty.
I feel that valentine's day has lost the romantic feeling.

Or maybe it's because i don't celebrate it.
I have no idea.

Oh well.
That doesn't matter.

A wall of silence envelopes me.
As i spend the day and night.
In deep slumber.

Churning my mind.
The numerous thoughts.
The numerous problems.

In a vain attempt to find the answers.

I'm turning depressed again.
As i silently observe my surroundings.

I despise at what's going on.
I despair at what's happening.
What's wrong with the world nowadays?!

Sigh.

A personal question i am asking.
What do i want out of a relationship?
Love?
Care?

My heart wishes all for the above.
But i have no idea how to express it.
I'm still walking the long road.

In learning how to break the silence.
And to maintain my dim happiness.

How now?
What's next?