112th Post

Another afternoon.

Fades into twilight.

And here i am.
Sitting in the chair.
Thinking.

About what she told me this morning.
Guess it was a slap i deserved.
For being the "closed book".
For putting in too little effort in it.

A person whom i love a lot.
Yet i still throw my wall of silence at her.
Refusing to share my deepest thoughts.

Sigh.
I am really hating myself.
For being unfair to her.
For still being the closed book.

I still need to work out.
At removing that wall of silence.

Now feelings of guilt.
Wells up deep inside me.

I am once again lost.

Will i ever find the voice.
To tell her how i feel.
Without having for her to constantly ask?

I hope i will find it soon.

Sigh.
Guilty as charged.
Now i have more thinking to do.
Even if it eventually kills me.