77th Post

As i sit in my chair.
In silence.

Guilt burns inside me.
But alas.
Thats the danger when anger is not controlled.

But yet.
I hope she did not misunderstand.
For my wrath is not directed at her.
But rather at someone else.

Sigh.
Hate the feeling of being so lost.

The aftermath of feeling regret.
IT FUCKING SUCKS !!

Sigh.
As usual.
A price is being paid.
For directing my wrath at others.

As an innocent soul unintentionally stood in the line of fire.
I can only watch.
As an accidental stray bullet.
Drops her to the ground.

As she lies there.
Bleeding.
I can only cradle her.
And watch with sorrow.

As her life blood.
Slowly ebbs away.

My heart silently aches.
In a torturous pain.
That i cannot explain.

I wish i can take a gun.
And blow my brains out.


I wish i can erase my actions of the past.
But its too late.

For they are now here to stay in my memories.
Haunting me.
Forever.

Filled with regrets.
And remorse.

Will that innocent soul.
Ever forgive me?
Guess i will never know.

Sigh.
I hate this feeling.
Unable to cry.
Unable to do anything else.

But to watch in tormented silence.